Not Too Late
by sreii
Summary: 6 year old Alessa Marie was adopted by Capt. Cragen after being rescued from a SVU sex-trafficking bust. Ten years later, she's viciously attacked by SVU's most wanted serial rapist, Jason Reed. Who will help her through this difficult time? And who will catch this seemingly untouchable mastermind?
1. Chapter 1: Alessa Marie Cragen

_Ding._

I sat up quickly, startled.

I looked around, realizing I must had fallen asleep doing homework. Carisi walked over from the lounge area and placed a cup of coffee on my desk.

I smile and say, "Thanks, Carry." He too must have fallen asleep at the station, judging how he's still wearing what he was wearing yesterday. I scrunched up my nose as the smell hit my nose, "You should consider taking a shower once in awhile, I guarantee you it'll make your chances getting with Amanda go up astronomically." He rolled his eyes and I stuck out my tongue.

At that moment, dad walked out of his office and said, "Morning, Alessa. Grab your stuff so I can take you out to get some breakfast." My tummy rumbled and I shrugged, knowing it's probably a good idea. I took a sip of coffee and put all of my books in my bag.

Oh, did I mention Captain Cragen is my dad? He adopted me after the squad found me when I was six, carrying out drinks illegally in a club. Long story short, ten years later, I'm practically a member of the squad. I wonder what dad's wife, my mom, was like. He's told me her name was Marge, and that she was sweet. Unlike me, she wasn't sarcastic or easy to annoy. I guess she's that ant that never bites.

Carisi waved his hand infront of my face, whistling, "Hey, anybody in there?" I scoffed, knocking his hand out of my sight. He mocked me and said, "Somebody's crabby this morning." I hit him in the stomach. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry. Every morning." I sent him my asian-stink eye and was about to cuss him out, but dad walked out as soon as I raised my fist.

"Alessa, ready to go? Carisi, stop messing with her and get your work done." Carisi bites back a smirk and nods.

"Yes, sir." I stuck my tongue out at Carisi and followed dad out of the precinct.

* * *

After breakfast, dad let me drive to our apartment. It's kind of small, located only 5 minutes away from the precinct. It has two bedrooms and two bathrooms. After I turned 14, dad figured it was time for us to upgrade to a two bathroom apartment opposed to a one bathroom. My long curly hair littered our old bathroom, which probably was one of the biggest reasons why he wanted to move.

After taking a quick shower, I put some skinny jeans and a t-shirt on, leaving my hair down to dry. I grab my phone and text Carisi, asking him what's up. He quickly responds with, " _Tutuola and Rollins are planning a date for Friday /3_." I smirked and wrote back a jackass text, " _Maybe you'll rethink daily showers :*_ "

Carisi and I had only met one year ago when he came into the cinct to fill in for Amaro during his leave of absence. Our personalities were way too similar, so of course, we quickly became friends. His arrogant attitude really pissed my dad off at first, but after seeing how good he was with me, and how good of a detective he was, dad laid off. Even though it's hard for me to admit, I kinda like Carisi. All in all, he's a decent detective, and a good guy. Even though he's still kinda a dickhead.

I sighed, rolling over in my bed. I reached for my textbook, knocking out a few chapters before falling asleep.

* * *

My dad shook me awake.

He said, "Don't ask questions. Just come on." I've never heard him sound this serious. I know when he gets like this, I should just do as he says. I bit back my asshole comments and grabbed my backpack. Following him outside the apartment and to the car, we both get in and drive quickly to the precinct.

His deep voice is the only thing that is heard in the precinct.

"Jason Reed. Male. 29 years old. Caucasian. His MO is raping young woman, age 13 thru 16 so far. Afterwards, the perp tapes his victim's mouths shut, binds them, and leaves them naked in their families trash bins. 15 cases so far follow this pattern. We didn't get this case until today, when the most recent body showed up in our territory. He plans out each rape, making sure that the following trash day, he dumps their body so their family can find them. He's left every victim alive except the most recent. 16 year old. Marissa Katherine Grey. Straight A student. He was very sloppy, leaving some semen on the body. We've traced it back to this address. All units to this location. Mr. Reed is considered armed and dangerous."

Everyone in the squad room dispersed, readying themselves for the mission. Cases like this make me sick. Contrary to prior beliefs a lot of people may have in me, I never want to work with this kind of police work. I hate this. I'd much rather teach, anything but this. I've seen what this does to people, and I assure you, it's nothing you want to spend the rest of your life doing.

I look over at Carisi, who's loading up his gun. I walk over and nudge him.

"Don't miss, okay?" My voice cracks. He knows my past, and knows what rape cases - specifically young rape cases - do to me.

He sighs and brings me into a hug. I hug back as he says, "You bet I won't. Stay outta trouble when we're gone," he whispered the next part, "don't worry, you're safe here. No one's gonna get you, I promise."

* * *

It had been about an hour since the squad had left.

I sat in my dad's office, with the door locked, reading some of his old law textbooks. After awhile of complete silence, I hear footsteps walking towards his office door. I see a tall shadow outside of the door, and I know it's not one of the guards. The doorknob rattles, and I hear a deep laugh come from behind the door.

"Marie, I know you're in there." My eyes get bigger. My breaths become slower and slower. _He knows my name._ Not even my name, but my middle. The way it rolls off his tongue sends shivers down my spine. I look around. There is no escape. I hide underneath the desk, praying he won't find me. As soon as I get under the desk, I hear the door being kicked open. I squeeze my eyes shut and hear his footsteps draw closer and closer to the desk. I feel his eyes penetrating the desk, knowing I'm hiding.

"Please make this easy for me, Marie." He sighs, patiently. "Alright, you wanted it this way. Remember that." His weasel-like hand grabs my arm, twisting it, pulling me from under the desk. I scream but his mouth quickly covers it. He smirks. "A screamer, eh?" My stomach is upside down as if I'm about to pass out. Unfortunately, I don't.

He says, "You're Cragen's daughter right?" he strokes my hair, "Definitely adopted. No gene of his could ever produce such a beauty like yourself." I try to get free, kicking him in the nuts. He winces and I take that chance to grab the nearest lamp and attempt to hit him over the head with it. Before it comes in contact with his head, he grabs his and twists my wrist so far that I hear a loud crack. I groan in pain, tears trickling down my face.

He puts my hand over his bulge and says, "Unzip my jeans." He starts kissing my neck as I quickly do as he says. He unzips mine, ripping my panties off.

I attempt to call for help as a last resort, "Carisi! Help me!" I scream at the top of my lungs. He slaps me and duct tapes my mouth shut.

Dried tears stick my hair to my cheeks. I wince and sob as he puts his it inside of me. All I can see through my tears is his brown hair and sweaty forehead.

* * *

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter! Disclaimer: I do know own Law and Order: SVU.


	2. Chapter 2: Taken

_Ping._

I slowly open my eyes and am greeted by the bright fluorescent ceiling light.

I slowly sit up, wincing from the pain coursing through my body. I bite my lip, stifling a groan. I look around, seeing where I am. My heart skips a beat.

I'm in a bedroom. Curtains cover the windows and there's nothing in the room but a small bedside table. My eyes start to water. _How will I get out?_ I feel around in my pockets looking for my phone, but I realize Jason must have taken it from me. The wrist he twisted is now all blue and bruised.

But then it hits me.

I was raped.

He raped me.

I start sobbing, abhorring how he was able to strip me from my innocence. I hated everything about him.

The doorknob turns and the door slowly swings open. I don't look up, keeping my eyes fixed on the faint pink bedspread.

I can tell he's smiling when he says, "Good morning, Marie. I hope you slept well. I missed you." He walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, "I know it must be traumatic for you right now, but I assure you, all I want is for you to be okay. Oh, how I love your long, curly hair." I can feel his hand stroking my hair. He then moves his hand to my cheek, using his index finger to turn my head up a little to meet his gaze, "Oh, and your eyes. Magnificent. I don't have the slightest idea as to how Captain Cragen could keep his hands off of you as you sleep only a room next to him." As soon as he mentions my dad I snap.

"Don't you dare talk about my dad like that," I pull away and slap his cheek, "I hate you!" His facial expression hardens and he grabs both of my arms.

"Now, Marie, it was a privilege for you to be uncuffed. You must learn to behave well in order to continue living under this roof." He pulls out to cufflinks from his pockets and cuffs my hands and ankles. Cuffing me to the bedpost, he sighs, shaking his head, "It's a shame that you force me to take such actions.

I say, "I don't make you do anything, you psychopath. I hate you. _Nothing_ will change that." Before I can say anything else, he punches my stomach. _Crack._ My rib. I scream out in pain, but he quickly covers my mouth with duct tape. I sob harder and harder, tears clouding my vision. I hear him laugh, walking out of the room, closing and locking the door behind him.

* * *

 _Precinct_

"Where the hell is she?!"

Once the unit came back to the precinct, they were greeted with the dead bodies of the officers who were on duty. Rushing to find Alessa, Cragen saw his office in shambles, with a note left behind. No sign of Alessa.

The note read: "Dear Captain Cragen and detectives, my name is Jordan Reed and I have your dear Alessa, or as I like to call her, Marie. I suggest you don't pursue this case any further, or I will be forced to dispose of Marie. I'm not looking for money, or any of your deals. Either you drop all charges and leave this cold, or she dies. Her fate is in your hands."

Cragen could hardly stand. He felt a wave of emotions. Hurt. Anxiety. Guilt. However, Cragen quickly jumped into action, assigning everyone jobs.

"Everyone, investigate Jason Reed. Be discreet. We need to catch this son of a bitch as fast as possible before he...he murders Alessa. Carisi and Benson, find any family or friends connections. Rollins and Tutuola, investigate his past technological connections. If you find anything, report back to me immediately. Go find my daughter."

* * *

 _Morgue_

"We have confirmed that Jason Reed's semen was at the scene. We've also confirmed Alessa was harmed in some sort of way, blood from the scene matching her DNA," Melissa explains.

Carisi pinches the bridge of his nose, feeling guilty for what happened with Alessa. He knew she would fight Jason. Carisi's heart was heavy with worry, realizing how much Alessa meant to him. He never wanted anyone to be victims of heinous crimes, let alone one of his closest friend.

Carisi was pulled out of thought as Benson said, "Is there anything else you find?" Melinda pondered for a minute before walking over to her desk.

Picking up some paper and handing them to Benson, she said, "We found traces of other DNA as well at the scene. We thought it was Alessa's but after running some tests, it wasn't either of theirs. We ran it in the database, seeing if it matched any relatives as his. Rachel Smith. She changed her last name from Reed after she and Jason divorced."

I'm woken up by a Jason, his body on top of mine.

I squirm, trying to push him off of me. He easily stays on top. I whimper through the duct tape, tears streaming down my cheeks. He leaves kisses on my neck and down to my collarbone.

He says, "You smell so sweet, so young." He breathes in, ripping my shirt off of my. I sob harder, but he slaps me, "Shh, you know you want it." I bite back a sob, as he strips me from my pants as well, leaving me with only a bra and panties on.

He smirks, making his way down to my panty area. I close my eyes, praying this doesn't last long.

* * *

 _Precinct_

"We have the surveillance videos from last night."

Carisi closes his eyes, mentally preparing him for whatever happened to Alessa. The squad's attention was captivated by the television screen. As the film played, they witnessed how scared Alessa was. They saw how she tried to fight him, try to escape. They witnessed all of the horrors that went down in that office.

When the film got to the point where Alessa screamed out Carisi's name, Carisi couldn't take it anymore. He walked outside of the precinct, tears in his eyes. Amanda followed him.

"Carisi...I'm sorry. It's not your fault." He nods and wipes away his tears.

Carisi shook his head, "No, it is, Rollins. I-I promised her I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. I promised her she was safe. I promised her I would protect her." Rollins closed her eyes.

"Carisi, is there something going on between you and Alessa?" Carisi shook with anger. He threw his hands up in the air.

He said, "How _dare_ you accuse me of that? I-we're just friends, Rollins. I would never do that to her, let alone Captain." Rollins breathed in.

"Carisi, it's nothing personal. You know I had to ask. The way you guys act around each other can make it seem like that sometimes." Carisi shook his head.

"Well I don't feel any romantic feelings for her. You know I know better." Rollins breathed out.

"I sure do hope so."

* * *

I can't believe this is happening to me.

Less than 48 hours ago, I was in my own bedroom, fully clothed, warm, and _safe._ I miss that feeling of being secure.

I remember what Carisi told me before he left.

That I was safe.

I scoff. I guess my dad was right when he warned me about Carisi. My heartbeat quickened, thinking about Carisi. I always secretly likes how he'd make coffee for me specifically. How he'd take the time to reassure me I was safe. How he'd go out of his way to make me smile. I quickly threw those thoughts away.

Nothing could happen between Carisi and I, and after this, I wouldn't even expect him to look at me.

I was raped.

Me.

When Cragen adopted me, he thought he was rescuing me. He thought he could prevent anything bad happening to me.

I trusted him.

I trusted Carisi.

Jason Reed is only part of the reason I was taken. My trust in others was the other half.

* * *

 _Carisi's Apartment_

Carisi set his car keys on the kitchen counter, kicking off his shoes. Hanging his jacket up on the coat rack, he laid down on his couch, turning on the football game.

Carisi quickly turns if off, sitting up with his head in his hands.

"I can't do this." He knocks over his living room table in anger.

Carisi's mind wanders to Alessa and how after 48 hours, there was still no sign as to where Reed was keeping her. It sickened him.

He couldn't even imagine what Reed was doing to Alessa. Carisi's heart ached, thinking back to his earlier confrontation with Rollins.

He was partly upset that she confronted him about it, and the other part of him was guilty. Carisi knew he harbored feelings for Alessa. She was so beautiful and mature.

Carisi knew the Captain would hate him if he ever even know he thought the way he did about Alessa. It sickened Carisi. These are the type of people he puts in prison.

Carisi remembered how hot tempered Alessa got when he would bug her too much, and how envious she would look when he talked about Rollins. Carisi hated when she got like that, but right now whether Alessa was hot tempered, envious, or annoyed all he wanted was her to be with him, _safe._

* * *

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the newest installment. I am anxious to hear your feedback! Thank you for reading.


	3. Chapter 3: Rescued

"We found her."

Cragen's head whipped up from the desk he was sitting at, walking over hastily towards Carisi's desk.

"Where?" Carisi pointed up to the screen.

Cragen said, "All units to that known location. First priority, Alessa. As far as we know, Reed has taken no other girls. It's been 72 hours, people, 72 hours since my daughter was taken. Get moving."

* * *

It's been 3 days since he's taken me.

72 hours since I was safe.

72 hours of torture.

72 hours of being ruthlessly raped time after time again.

72 hours.

I'm done. I've given up. I no longer fight. I no longer _care._

* * *

 _It was Alessa's 16th birthday._

 _Cragen was still at the precinct wrapping up some paperwork. Alessa had stayed up until midnight, wanting to be the first to wish herself a happy birthday. Alessa could never exactly explain why she wanted to be the first, it was just something she always wanted to do, especially when she would turn 16. Cragen was still at the precinct wrapping up some paperwork._

 _When she clock struck midnight, she inhaled and said, "Happy birth-" her phone went off. A text from Carisi that read, "Happy 16th birthday, Alessa :)" She smiled, feeling some funny in her stomach. She texted him back saying thank you, her smile never leaving her face._

 _That was the first year she hadn't been the first to wish herself a happy birthday._

 _It was also the night that she went to bed with a smile on her face and a heavy heart._

* * *

They busted down the door.

It happened in a matter of minutes. Carisi and Tutuola cleared the living and dining room. The house was immaculate. The squad moved on and cleared the bedrooms and bathrooms. It was all so clean. They had one more bedroom to clear, and that one was at the back of the house.

The door was closed. Tutuola kicked down the door, revealing an unconscious Alessa and a smirking Reed.

Tutuola said, "Get up, Reed." Reed did as he was told.

Reed said, "I didn't do anything."

"Shut up and turn around." Tutuola cuffed him and read his rights. Carisi rushed to Alessa's side and broke both of the cuffs. Alessa wasn't wearing anything, and Carisi quickly covered her with his jacket before anyone else, other than him and Tutuola, saw her. Carisi picked her up and carried her outside of the house, placing her on the gurney.

Cragen ran to her side and thanked Carisi before getting on the ambulance with her and riding to the hospital.

* * *

Pain courses through me as I open my eyes. I look around, seeing that I'm no longer in Reed's the bedroom. Rollins, Tutuola, Carisi, and dad are all sitting.

I said, "Dad?" He looks up and everyone realizes I've woken up. Dad rushes to my side and holds my hand. I stifle a gasp, realizing how much everything hurt.

Dad said, "You're safe now sweetheart, you're safe." I thank everyone in the room for saving me. After all of the nice gestures, my eyes fall on Carisi. His eyes are bloodshot. I feel a tug on my heart and something funny in my stomach and I remember the promise he made me. Somewhere in between our exchange, dad, Rollins, and Tutuola left saying that they were going to get something to eat and bring it back for me. Until now, I hadn't registered the emptiness I felt in my stomach. Regardless of my hunger, I remember the situation at hand.

I look up at Carisi and see that he's made he way next to me.

He's the first one to say anything, "I'm sorry, Alessa. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, and that I wasn't there to protect you. I shouldn't have left you alone, knowing he was one the loose, I'm sorry Alessa." He choked out the last of his sentence and I knew I no longer could blame him for what happened, or anyone.

Even though a small part of me still blames them, I reach for Carisi's hand and say, "It's okay. It's not your fault." I breathe in, "Now...is he in prison?" Carisi sat down in the chair next to the bed and sighs.

"The trial is pending. Barba believes we got him, you as a witness. Still, he's pleading not guilty." My eyes water. I can't believe he has the audacity to plead not guilty.

I say, "You believe me, don't you? He-he raped me, he tortured me, he kidnapped and drugged me. He-he stole my virginity away from me, he can't-he can't not get in trouble, Carisi. Please don't let him." Tears start to flow freely and I sob. Carisi moves onto the bed and I move to embrace him. He holds me as I cry into his chest and I move over to make room for him. He doesn't say anything, he just holds me in his arms and lets me totally unload my fears on him.

Soon, I close my eyes. The beats of Carisi's heart is the last thing I remember before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

The next day comes and I wake up in Carisi's arms.

A small smile graces my lips as I look up at Carisi, who is sound asleep. I knew my dad must come by last night and us like this. Even though he was probably taken aback, I know he understands. Carisi has been like my best friend.

My olive skin is dry and I reach over to the bedside and rub lotion into my skin. The room is filled with my favorite scent, sweet peaches.

Carisi groans and lifts his head up, looking down at me.

Carisi looks at the clock and says, "It's 8 o'clock. Are you up for something to eat?" I nod and he says, "Okay, I'll go get you something to eat." I bite my lip, not wanting to be alone.

I plead, "Please don't leave me alone, please...you said you'd protect me." I felt silly for begging. I should've just let him go but of course like the wimp I am, I didn't.

Carisi says, "Okay, then a nurse can-" his phone buzzes and he answers it. "Hello?" He mouths out that it's my dad. "Okay, will do." Carisi gets off the phone and says, "Your dad wants me to bring you to the precinct. I think he said he left some clothes for you in the washroom. You'll have to ID Reed and give your disclosure." I close my eyes, processing all of the information. I didn't want anything else to do with him. Even so, I knew I had no choice. I already know I'll have to testify. If Carisi will be there, I'll be fine.

I thank Carisi and try to stand up. As I do, my feet wobble and give. Carisi catches me and walks me into the washroom. I thank him and assure him that I'll be fine. Once he leaves and closes the door, I strip from the hospital gown and get into the shower.

The warm water running down my skin feels refreshing to me. I close my eyes, not wanting the soap to get into my eyes. Memories of Reed come flashing back and I quickly open my eyes. The soap burns my eyes and I feel like I'm about to faint.

I yell out, "Carisi!" In a matter of seconds I hear the door swing open and the shower curtain pulled to the side. I start sobbing and say, "Give me a towel." As he hands me a towel, I quickly wash the soap out of my eyes. "Reed took me and I remembered how he'd talk to me and how he'd t-touch me." Carisi turns off the waters and swings the towel over me, shielding his eyes from seeing me naked.

He holds me close and says, "You're safe, Alessa, you're safe." I can hear the sorrow in his voice. I know he feels at fault for the pain I went through. I wrap my arms around him, accidentally getting his shirt wet. In the moment, I don't care. I just wanted to feel safe and protected. After a few minutes, the sobs slowly stop and I compose myself.

"I-I think I'm okay now. Thank you, Carisi." I gently squeeze his hand and send him a small reassuring smile. Carisi smiles back and nods. After Carisi leaves, I dry off as quickly as possible and put on the clothes my dad left for me. Before I leave, I brush my teeth and hair.

I meet Carisi in the lobby to go to the precinct.

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much to those who have reviewed/followed/favorited/PMd! Please provide feedback! Thank you.


	4. Chapter 4: Carisi

"Number four."

Dad looked at me and asked, "Are you sure?" I nodded, knowing that Reed was number four. Carisi and I had just arrived about an hour ago. We stopped on the way and got something to eat, which I was really thankful for. It had been ages since I had eaten.

I walked back to my desk, passing my dad's office. Shivers go down my spine, knowing what took place there. _He's in the same building as I am._ I bite my lip, whimpering. I hate the fact he scares me. I hate the fact he has so much power over me. It's like I've never left his bedroom. _I'm still his prisoner._

I push those thoughts to the back of my head as my dad approaches me and says, "All you have left to give is your statement. You're doing great, Alessa. I love you." I smile and nod.

"I love you too, dad." Dad smiles and gestures for me to follow him. He sits me down in the conference room and gets the recorder out. I inhale, looking around. No Carisi. I'm silently thankful that he's not in here. I don't want him to hear all of the details. I know my dad doesn't want to either, so I say, "Can-can a female detective get my statement? Olivia? Rollins?" I see a small sign of relief come across my dad's face. He gets up and calls Olivia into the room. After filling her in, he leaves and she sits down.

Olivia says, "Okay, the recorder's on," she adds reassuringly, "I'm so sorry for what has happened to you, but this is when you have to give us the details. Everything you remember, from the color of the bedspread to what he was wearing. There is no time limit, there's no rush, sweetheart. Whenever you're ready, please say what happened."

And so I began.

It took me about two hours to tell everything. It took a lot for me to keep myself from bursting out in tears but I knew Reed would be seeing this once his lawyer got its hands on the tape. Once Olivia closed the camera, she walked towards me and pulled me into a big hug.

Olivia said, "You're a strong person, Alessa. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me. I promise I'll do everything in my power to put that son of a bitch away." I softly smile and thank her. We walk out and I look around, seeing everyone but dad and Carisi. I look at his office, and the door's closed, blinds folded.

I shrug it off and walk into the kitchen to make me a cup of coffee. I see Rollins get up and follow me.

I start to make my coffee and smile at her, "Hey, how's the case going?" She shrugs.

"Good. We have a solid case. Judge says gave him a two million bail. There's no way he'll be able to pay that, and even so, you're protected." I smile and nod.

I ask, "Do you know where Carisi is?"

Rollins answers, "Captain pulled him into his office about thirty minutes ago." I nod, and grab my coffee.

"Thanks."

Before I leave the kitchen, Rollins says, "Whatever you need, I'm here." I thank her and leave.

After a few minutes, Carisi comes out of my dad's office.

I look at the clock. Ugh. Already 4:00pm.

"Reed posted bail," my dad says. I gasp and freeze. He's out? He's out. My mind is so crazy I have trouble breathing.

Dad says, "Alessa, Carisi is going to take you home and stay with you until I can make it home. The rest of you, go home. Lock your doors. I'm staying to tie up a few loose ends."

Tutuola says, "I'm staying." Olivia and Rollins quickly rush to back Tutuola up too. I thank them and they get right to work. I hug my dad and wish him a goodbye before I follow Carisi out to his car.

* * *

"So, what movie do you wanna watch?" I shrug.

We had gotten home about 10 minutes ago, and Carisi decided we'd kill time by watching some movies. I don't argue, anything's better than being cooped up in my room all night. I walk over to the DVD case and pull out the movie _Love Actually._ Once Carisi saw the title, he quirked his eyebrows.

I smile and say, "I need to laugh, plus romance is always fun. Better than watching a crime or mystery movie. We get enough of that in reality." Carisi chuckles at that, agreeing. I pop some popcorn and we both sit down on the couch. As a precautionary, I ask, "Did you lock the door?"

Carisi said, "Yes, and I bolted it. You're safe." He smiles. I smile back and turn my focus back to the movie.

* * *

I'm in tears as the credits roll.

I forgot how emotionally traumatizing this movie was. I look over at Carisi who's holding in his laughter. I playfully punch him.

"Whatever, Carisi, you know that it was sad." Carisi rolled his eyes. I looked at the clock, realizing it was only 7:30.

Carisi must have caught my glance and said, "Movies bore me. Wanna play a game?" I smile and nod. I look under the living room coffee table and pull out a monopoly set.

Carisi groans once seeing the game and says, "You know this is a family game right? As in a game for more than two people. It's going to take ages for _me_ to win." He smirks and winks and I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, because you're never going to. I'm the queen of monopoly." Carisi scoffs but leaves it alone. We start to set the game up and he decides to be the car and I'm the dog. Carisi and I sit next to each other on the couch with the game board in front of the both of us. After about ten minutes of playing, I hear a knock on the door. _Oh God. It's him._

My head whips up and I instinctively scoot over closer to Carisi and reach for his arm. I start to whimper and tears start to stream freely down my cheeks.

I whisper, "It's him, it must be him." Carisi presses one finger up to his lips, signaling for me to not say anything.

He whispers, "Go hide in your closet, lock the bedroom door. I'll come and get you. I'll knock five times." I shut my eyes.

"I don't want to go without you." Carisi gives me a look and I reluctantly stand up. _Knock knock._ Another knock at the door. I quickly and quietly get up and go to my room, closing the door behind me and locking it.

As I hide in my closet, it only takes a minute until I hear those five knocks. I leave my closet and make my way to the door. Unlocking it, I peer outside. It's Carisi. I sigh in relief.

Carisi said, "It's safe, it was only-" I don't pay attention to whatever he said after he said that it was safe. I rush into his arms and hug him. I've never been this scared or on edge in my entire life. I'm so vulnerable and I hate it. My eyes water.

I say, "Thank you, Carisi." After a few seconds, I break the hug.

I smile through my tears and say, "Now let's go back to me beating your butt at monopoly."

It didn't take long until I owned about half of the board. I looked at the clock, seeing that it was already 9:00.

I look up Carisi, seeing the bags under his eyes, and say, "You look tired, Carisi. You should get some sleep." Carisi shook his head.

"No, I'd much rather stay awake opposed to you getting kidnapped again." He laughed dryly. I forced a smile, thinking back to my imprisonment with Reed. It was hell. I think back to everything he did to me. Everything he put me through. Even though my dad kept on telling me to remember how I survived everything he put me through, I can't help but get upset thinking back to it.

Carisi asked, "You okay?" I bite my lip and shake my head. Carisi turned his focus on me entirely and said, "Alessa, I know you and I know when you're lying. What's wrong?" The way he said my name totally unraveled me and I feel the same feeling I felt on the night of my 16th birthday.

I cave and say, "What _isn't_ wrong, Carisi?" My eyes water. I continue, "There's a lot of stuff my dad doesn't know. That you don't." I breathe in, "When Reed took me, he was nice to me. Reed seemed like he wouldn't hurt me anymore. As the hours passed, I started you blame you," I choke out, "and I'm so sorry for that. It wasn't your fault," I reassured, "I just...I just felt an attachment with Reed. Whether it be because of the fact that-that he put himself inside of me or because he was nice," I continue, "I hate myself for thinking that way and I hate myself for blaming you. Those three days with Reed were hell." Somewhere in between my rant and my sobs, Carisi had pulled me into a tight embrace. I continue, "I still feel like I'm his prisoner. I still feel like her as some type of spell on me. I don't know what to do." I sob.

Carisi pulls me tighter and says, "You know, my sister was raped too when she was seventeen by her twenty one year old boyfriend," I look up at him, "You're the first person I've ever told that too. She was a virgin too. She said the same thing you just said; that your perpetrator _took_ your virginity. Virginity isn't something that can be taken. It's a gift. God gave you the privilege of choosing who you give it to. And with that, whoever you _give_ it too will be someone of your choosing. Remember what I said, virginity isn't something that can be taken." After Carisi's speech, I just stay in his arms and close my eyes. I think over what he said, and I suddenly feel this weight lifted off of my shoulders. He's right.

I take a few minutes to recollect myself before I look up at him and say, "All I wanted was to feel safe again, and now I do. So thank you Carisi, for everything." Carisi wipes away the tears off my cheek and our eyes stay locked on each other. I swear we were about to kiss.

Carisi presses his lips against my forehead and they linger. I close my eyes and take in this moment.

It seems like everything was perfect. For that particular moment, everything felt right.

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Please review/follow/favorite, and a big thank you to all of those who have! Thank you for reading.


	5. Chapter 5: Trial Day

It's trial day.

It takes an extra part of me to get up this morning, knowing I'll see Reed today. _I have to testify._ I remember my dad telling me that the judge has had a fair share of NYPD cases, all in which I quickly get ready and meet my dad in the dining room as he makes breakfast.

He smiles slightly and says, "Morning, sunshine." I give him a small smile. I know he's just as nervous as I am. We both have no idea as to what to expect today. He's been in this situation millions of times, minus the fact that the victim was his daughter.

After eating a few bites of toast, we go to the court house.

* * *

"We call Ms. Cragen to the stand."

My palms are cold and sweaty as I walk up to the stand. I swear in and sit down, avoiding looking at Reed. My eyes find Carisi's, biting back tears. Barba's questions are quick, not so painless, but still delicate enough to keep me from breaking down on the stand. After Barba, Reed's lawyer walks up and gives me a tissue box.

"First of all, I want to say thank you for coming into court today. You are so brave." He stands still about ten feet away from me, his voice delicate, "Mr. Reed is accused of holding you captive, raping you, and torturing you, am I correct?"

"Yes."

I see his eyebrows scrunch and he looks out to the audience, "And, Ms. Cragen, may I ask you what human trafficking entails?" I bite my lip.

"It's illegal. It's basically labeling a person, property."

He nods and says, "And as some people may know, you were being trafficked since birth to the age of 6, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"Human trafficking is a very gruesome process. Almost all of the victims that survive and are rescued have some sort of post traumatic disorder afterwards. Is it true that you've been seeing a counselor since the time you were rescued to the present day?" I bite my lip and look down.

"Yes." I look at Carisi. I see worry fill his eyes as we both realize what this lawyer is trying to do.

"And, according to multiple sources listed in evidence, when victims are reintroduced to similar heinous crimes, victims are exposed to the possibility of imagining things." I gasp. He can't possibly be suggesting I imagined all of this.

Barba interrupted and asked, "And is there a question here?"

"Yes. What color were the drapes in the room you said you were held in?" I racked my brain. I remember telling Olivia it. Purple or yellow, I forget.

I say, "Purple."

The lawyer scrunched his eyebrows and said, "Well in your statement, you said yellow."

"Your honor, this is ridiculous!" Barba shouts.

I hear the judge say, "Keep the theatrics to yourself, Mr. Barba."

I feel my eyes water and I say, "I wasn't focussed on the drapes, I was focussed on escaping from the man who was torturing me." I sob.

"But you never did, did you?" The judge almost interjects but the lawyer finishes with, "No further questions."

* * *

It had already been 24 hours and the jury was still out.

Carisi and I were sitting on the couch, and he got a phone call.

"The jury is in."

* * *

"We find the defendant guilty on the charge of kidnapping. On the charge of rape, however, the jury finds the defendant not guilty." My heart falls. I can't think clearly. Everyone sitting on the benches whisper to each other and some call out.

"Order in the court!" The judge clears his throat, "The defendant will serve 10 years in prison, and a fine of 50,000." I quickly stand up and my breath becomes short. I try to walk out of the courtroom, but I fall. I feel someone catch me and I look up. Dad.

"Dad, how can...I wasn't lying, daddy, I wasn't lying." I cry into his chest and he carries me out of the courthouse.

* * *

I wake up in my room. I look over at the clock and see it's almost 1am. My eyes are sore from crying but I look around, seeing Carisi asleep sitting in my old rocking chair. My dad must be working late again. I try to block out the ruling and whisper Carisi's name. I whisper again and his eyes fly open, and he stands up.

With one hand on his weapon, he says, "What's wrong?" My lips curve into a small smile and shake my head.

"Nothing," I say softly, "You know my bed's big enough for two. It can't be comfortable sleeping on that thing." I gesture to the chair. I see Carisi hesitate and I add, rolling my eyes, "I won't bite." Carisi chuckles and takes off his shoes.

"Alright, alright." He gets in, remaining on top of the sheets. I sigh, knowing he wouldn't get under. I rest my head on his shoulders. Something about him makes me feel happy, and forget everything that has happened. I bite my lip, knowing my tiny crush has turned into something much more. My heart aches a little remembering his feelings for Rollins. She's a blond. I'm a brunette. She's his age. I'm 9 years younger than him. She's tall. I'm short.

She's everything that I'm not.

Carisi nudges me, "What're you thinking so hard about?" I bite my lip. I can't tell him.

"Nothing." I say that but a small sob escaped me before I could stop it. Carisi must have heard.

He says, "Alessa, I'm so sorry about the ruling, I know it's not easy. At least he'll be locked up, and once he's out, you'll have me to take care of you." His words melt my heart. I know for sure he thinks of me just as a friend. Maybe even a sister.

I frown. He must have seen that too and said, "Alessa...you're not telling me something. I know that face."

I breathe in and quietly say, "It's you." Carisi scrunches his eyebrows.

"What?"

"It's you."

"Alessa, I don't know-"

My eyes water and my voice cracks, "Remember when you asked if I liked anyone? On the couch a few nights ago, you asked if I had found anyone I really liked and I never answered until now. The answer is you." I look down and silence ensues.

I wait for the lecture. I wait for him to say he's too old, that I'm just a child. I wait for a minute or two before I feel his finger turns my head to face his. He doesn't say anything. His eyes linger on my lips and before I can do anything, our lips touch. I rest my hand on his shoulder, and I move up a little so our heads are equal. I can't help but feel a spark as our mouths move together before breaking apart.

I'm still in shock as we lay there in silence.

"We can't, Alessa. I-I'm sorry." Carisi sits up and gets out of the bed. He says, "I'll be in the living room." I bury my head in my pillow and I hear his footsteps as he leaves me room.

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much to those you favorited, reviewed, and followed!


	6. Chapter 6: Comical Relief

"Alessa, it's time to go to school!"

It had been 2 months since I had been taken, and summer was officially over. Dad still makes me go to counseling, which blows. The only redeeming factor about it is we don't _only_ talk about the case. We talk about what I wanna do with my life, and it's actually kinda helping. This year is my senior year.

I get in the car and go to put my earbuds in but dad cuts in, "Can we talk on the way?" I shrug. He turns the radio on and says, "Carisi called and he asked if he could come back."

Oh, yeah. After the...incident, Carisi told dad he had to take a break. Neither of us have spoken to each other since that morning.

 _When I wake up that morning, I walk into the living room and Carisi is pacing back and forth. Once he sees me, he stops cold in his tracks._

" _Alessa...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about last night. I wish I could take it back," he breathes in, "I'm going to leave to give enough time for the both of us." I bite back a tears._

 _I choke out, "When will you be back?"_

 _Carisi looks down and shrugs, "Alessa...I need you to understand what happened last night is bad. It's against the law."_

" _Carisi, please don't leave, I need you." Carisi shakes his head._

 _He says, "I'm sorry." His voice is ice cold. He picks up his coat and walks out, leaving me broken._

I remember what it felt like after he left. My heart was in pieces.

I ask, "And what did you say?"

Dad chuckles and says, "Of course I said yes. He's quite grown on me. I thought you'd like to know that, you both were so close. I hope you two kept in touch." I bite my lip. Luckily, before I had to come up with something to respond with, we arrive at the school.

I kiss him on the cheek and get out of the car.

* * *

"Ms. Alessa, please make an effort to stay awake during my class."

I roll my eyes and the teacher says, "I'd hate to send you up to the front office on your first day, but your next sign of disrespect will force me to do so." I bite my tongue on this jokester. The dinosaur goes on and on about the class and what the syllabus entails. Once the bell rings, everyone gets ready to leave for lunch.

Before I leave, Ms. Baker or whatever her name is calls me to stay back. I walk up to her desk.

"Ms. Alessa, I've seen your case in the newspapers. I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but I ask the minimum from you: respect. Whatever you need, please ask." I mumble a thanks and leave the classroom. My best friend Clara, who left me during the summer to go travel Europe, is waiting for me.

Clara exclaims, "Oh my God, did she really just say what I think she said?" I nod and she continues, "Oh hell no, I'm gonna go back in there and beat her-" I laugh and shake my head.

"Shut up! She might can still hear you."

"Well guess you doesn't give a single fu-" She cut off by Brandon, another senior, who bumps into her. She turns to him and says, "Bitch I hope you don't think you can bump into my fine ass and think you don't have to say sorry."

Brandon rolls his eyes and says, "Really, Clara, I'm sorry that you take up two thirds of the hallway." My blood boils.

"Nobody talks to Clara like that, asshole." I ready myself to slap his baby face but Clara beats me to it.

Clara says, "Not my fault that you can't handle all of this." She gestures to her curves and gives him the middle finger. Brandon rolls his eyes and walks away. We both laugh so hard that it's hard to breathe.

We walk to the benches and I say, "Damn, I've missed you. It's been awhile since I've laughed like that." Clara wiggles her eyebrows.

"Ooooh girl, you know I know you ain't just talking about the case. There's a guy. Spill." I can't help but laugh a little.

I breathe in, "No judging. Remember Carisi?" Her mouth drops.

"Yeah yeah, the detective dude."

I bite my lip, "Well, we kissed." She grins.

"Ain't that good, though? I knew you had a crush on him before you even knew you had a crush on him." I laugh and shake my head. "So y'all dating?"

I shake my head, "Nope, and that's the horror of it. After the kiss, he left for two months. And...he's coming back today. I don't know if I'll see him, all I know is he'll be at the station tonight." Clara shakes her head.

"Mmm, mmm, mmm, that boy don't know what he's missing. You gonna go to the station?" I shake my head, "I got you girl, you can spend the night with me. Just avoid him until you know for sure he wants to talk to you." I laugh.

"Isn't it a little late to play hard to get?"

She shrugs, "Honey, it's never too late." I take a bite of my sandwich and she fills me in about her European lover that she met during the summer.

* * *

A/N: Thank you to whoever favorited/followed/reviewed! FYI Clara is written based on me a little, I hope y'all like her! I figured it was time for some comical relief :)


	7. Chapter 7: Cara to the Rescue

"Alessa, we need to talk."

It was Cara. Ugh, I always dread when she says that. I walk over to the bed where she's laying down and I lay down beside her, bracing myself for a "Cara lecture." I spent the night with Cara the next few nights, which my dad was okay with. Dad always felt guilty for his work getting in the way of daddy-daughter time. I guess he's happy that I found someone that I could spend time with, like Cara. I knew she'll always be there for me, like I'll be there for her.

Cara breathed in, "Okay, my little Pocahontas-"

"Wouldn't it be Mulan?"

"Girl, you're Asian but you know you look more like Pocahontas," she breathes in, "but that's beside the point. You and I both know you can't hide out here for the rest of your senior life, but right now I'm kicking you out. You need to go and talk to Carisi." I roll my eyes and groan.

I say, "But Cara, I don't know what to say! There's nothing to say. He's already made his mind up."

Cara turns to me, "You and I both know that's not true. If he doesn't like you then why'd he kiss you? Why'd he risk his job, his freedom, for you? You're about to turn 17, legal in New York."

"But Cara...my dad's his boss…"

She laughs, "Now you're jus' making shit up to not talk to him. Text him right now and tell him to meet you at the coffee shop on the next block in an hour." I look over at what I'm wearing right now and she purses her lips, "Yeah we 'gon fix your look before you go."

We both laugh and she helps me get ready. I text Carisi what she told me to say and he responds within five minutes with, " _Ok._ "

* * *

I sit at a coffee table in the very back of the cafe, biting my lip.

My mind racks through all of the possible outcomes, and I go over what I want to say. I look at the clock and see that it's exactly one hour after I sent that text. If Carisi doesn't come in the next ten minutes, I'm gonna leave.

Not one minute later, I see Carisi walk in. I send a small wave to him and see him walk over to the table. He looks like he hasn't slept in days, but his hair and his clothes look clean. He has a little stubble, barely noticeable.

I start the conversation and say, "Hey, thanks for meeting me." I talk quietly and he has to lean forward a little to hear me.

He shrugs, "It's no problem, actually, I wanted to find a time to ask you to talk too." I nod and bite my lip.

"So how was...your break?" He nods.

"It was okay, nice to see family."

"You didn't stay as long as I thought you would." He looks down.

"Yeah, and that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

I interject, "Can I go first? Please." He nods.

I breathe in and say, "You know...I was going through what happened that night constantly since you left. I don't know about you, but when we...kissed, I felt something. That spark made me feel like everything was perfectly placed. I can't speak for you, but," I hold back my tears, "I want to feel that way again. I want the way you made me felt that night again, and for it never to end." I look down, not daring to look in his eyes.

He says, "I want to feel that again too, Alessa," I look up, "but you're sixteen." I shake my head.

"You know I turn the legal age in just a few months."

Carisi bites his lip, _oh God, he's so attractive_ , "We can't hold hands out in public, we can't go on dates, _real dates_ , we can't tell my parents, your parents, the squad...we can't do anything." I shake my head.

"But we can, once I'm seventeen-"

Carisi interrupts me, "You don't get it, Alessa. I'm twenty-five. It looks bad to the public and especially since I'm a detective...we can't."

I'm ready to lose my mind and I say, "Then we don't go public. I don't want to share you with the public anyway. And as for dates...we can go out at night, watch movies at home, go to a town where no one knows us. Anything where we can spend time with each other." Carisi doesn't say anything.

After a few seconds, he looks up and I see his lips curve into a small smile, "Then would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

* * *

"Now we need to find you an outfit."

I video chat with Cara from my home as we try to find a suitable outfit for tonight. It's been a week since Carisi asked me on a date. It's a Sunday night and I've spent all weekend girling out with Cara about this date. Carisi didn't tell me much about where he was taking me, just to wear church clothes. Cara helped me translate church clothes to kinda casual but a little nicer. We went shopping on Friday and then went to spend the day at the nail salon on Saturday.

"Do you think I'm overdoing it for tonight? I'm sure Carisi is just gonna pick me up wearing what he normally wears. What if I'm totally over or underdressed?" Cara rolls her eyes.

"Shut the hell up, he told you what to wear. And if he comes to pick you up without even grooming a little then I say drop his ass quicker than when my grade in math dropped after Ms. Dobb partnered me with Keith." She gags. I laugh and roll my eyes.

I'm wearing a peach colored lacy dress that hugs my skin but then falls loosely reaching my mid thigh. I slip on my heels that make me one or two inches taller. I smile in the mirror, knowing I look older. Cara had come over a few hours earlier to do my make up and do my hair. I left my hair super curly and sprayed hair spray to make it stay.

Dad's out again, so I have no problem with hiding tonight from him. I hear the doorbell and I breathe in. I say bye to Cara and hang up.

I walk to the door and open it slightly to make sure it's Carisi.

It is.

I fully open the door and see him fully. He's wearing dark blue jeans and a white button up with his hair combed back perfectly. His face glows and he looks amazing.

I bite my lip and say, "You look so handsome."

He smiles and says, "Thank you, but you look...you look perfect." He reaches for my hand and pulls me closer, kissing the top of my forehead. "Are you ready?" I smile and nod.

* * *

It takes about thirty minutes to get to the restaurant. It's on the outskirts of the city, a small Italian restaurant. Once I see the prices I instantly feel guilty.

"Carisi-"

"Sonny, please. You don't have to call me Carisi." I smile a little and nod.

"Sonny, the prices...I can't ask you to pay for this. We can-"

He stops me, "You never asked me to pay for this. It's okay. I want to." I bite my lip and nod.

We order soon after that and talk more. I've never noticed how we've never actually...talked. I ask him about his family and he tells me about his three sisters, and how his parents are almost nonexistent in their life.

He says, "Well what about you, Alessa? What your story?" I shrug.

"Well, I was taken from Thailand when I was a baby and then at a trafficking bust, my dad found me. He adopted me and renamed me. I've stayed here ever since then. I have one best friend, which is Cara. She's the one who helped me get ready tonight and work up the guts to talk to you again-" I blush and look down, knowing I shared too much.

Sonny chuckles and says, "It's alright, I had to get a little pep talk from Rollins, too. So what was your name before Captain changed it?" Rollins? I make sure to remember to ask him about that before the end of the night.

"Irene." He smiles and repeats it for himself.

"I like it. So how did you meet Cara? Will I get to meet her?" It makes me happy to know that he cares about my friends. I know he probably wants to feel out the situation since she knows about us.

I answer all of his questions and we continue to talk more about our personal lives throughout dinner. When we walk out of the restaurant, I thank him and walk to the car.

"Why are you going to the car?"

"Aren't we leaving?" Sonny smiles and shakes his head.

"Come on, follow me." I walk over to him and he takes my hand in his. We walk down the sidewalk and down the pier. _The beach!_

I smile and say, "You're taking me to the beach?" He smiles and nods. Once we get to the shore, we take our shoes off and he rolls up his pants.

"I've never been to the beach at night, thank you for taking me." Sonny smiles and shrugs. We walk down the beach together and enjoy the light winds. We talk some, but mostly we just take in the moment. Moments like these need to be remembered.

Sonny stops walking and I look up at him, "What's wrong?"

He says, "I thought by now I'd feel guilty; guilty for lying to the captain, guilty for taking you out on a date. But...I don't." He rests one hand on my lower back and the other on my cheek. He pulls me closer and presses his lips on mine. I deepen the kiss and rest my hands on his chest. I part my lips a little and his licks the bottom of my lip. He pulls back a little and smiles.

"I waited all night for that."

* * *

A/N: Thank you to all who favorited/followed/reviewed! I hope y'all liked this chapter!


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